Fear of Not Automatically Being Good at Something
I’m sure all the great artists, actors, entrepreneurs weren’t automatically good at the area they currently excel in. Just as I know that human beings are not born with every talent imaginable. As a matter of fact, I love to remind myself that at one point I wasn’t even potty trained. It’s a very humbling thought. A thought that I understand perfectly well and yet I can’t help but hold myself to the highest of standards. Would I ever judge someone for not being automatically good at something? Obviously not. Would I judge myself? You best believe I would.
Current Fears
I’m a researcher through and through. I research what products I use in my hair, what food I give my dogs, which socks are the best. I research everything before introducing it into my life. That being said, when I start a new hobby I research the heck out of it. Take this blog for example, I bought a blogging course to teach me the ins and outs, I invested in purchasing the theme for my blog, I even set time aside in my calendar dedicated to this blog. I’ve done all the “pretty work”. You know, the type of work where I don’t have to sit with myself and put my actual writing abilities to the test.
I spend most of my time watching motivational videos on manifesting my future where my blog gives me financial independence. Yet, I somehow can’t find the energy to put into the actual writing. I’ve researched different topics to write about based on how well they’d trend. Spoiler Alert: I wasn’t very good at finding any so I got overwhelmed and quit. I’m so focused on the fact that learning something new is hard.
Why Do We Let the Fear Stop Us
Learning something new isn’t easy. Dealing with the fact that you can’t seem to get it right isn’t easy. It’s difficult to put yourself in a vulnerable spot where you have to admit that you don’t know something. Maybe you’re afraid people will think you’re not capable or maybe you’re afraid you’ll find out you’re not capable. We’re so afraid of getting so close to the finish line and not being able to cross it because of our own mistakes. So why bother trying right?
There’s a saying that I’m still trying to adopt into my lifestyle and it goes something like, “You keep thinking about all the things that could go wrong, but have you thought about all the things that could go right?” It’s something that really resonated with me because fear has stopped be from pursuing a lot of things, things that in some parallel universe worked out for a different version of me. The version that didn’t let fear get in the way. I’ve truly reached a point in my life where I’d regret not trying more than failing.
What’s Next
So I sit here, writing even while having a crippling fear that my blog won’t make me money and I’ll be sitting in a corporate office for the rest of my life. Sounds dreadful. The nice thing about still writing in hopes that my blog will be successful, is the simple fact that if it’s not, I have a diary entry of my life. I’ve done some self reflection and captured my thoughts in this point of time. With every failure there’s something to learn and appreciate. At the end of the day, I can go to sleep with a clear conscience and say that I tried.
